Rich Fisher

Trenton, NJ — When Melissa Arbia gets serious about a guy, she really makes it count. In 2017, Arbia went out for the first time with Joe Bongiorno, one of harness racing’s up-and-coming young drivers. The repercussions of that date were not one, but two love affairs.

Arbia and Bongiorno are engaged to be married Dec. 15, and Melissa’s association with Joe and her future sister-in-law, Jennifer Bongiorno, has given her a job she is head over heels about.

“It really opened up a lot of opportunities in so many different ways, finding my future husband and a job that really I don’t consider a job,” Arbia said. “I love the work that we do every day, I love being around horses. Of course, I have my favorite, Finnick Odair; I get to work with him, play around with him, as well as jog horses and train every day so to me, it’s more of an exciting thing to do than a job.”

On Oct. 10, Melissa Arbia drove Finnick Odair to her first career win in the Billings Amateur Driving Series at Yonkers Raceway. Yonkers Raceway photo.

It’s not hard to see her partiality to Finnick Odair. She, Joe and Jenn each own one third of the horse, which is trained by Jenn. And on Oct. 10, Melissa drove him to her first career win in the Billings Amateur Driving Series at Yonkers Raceway.

“We had the five hole and we wound up leaving out of there and I wound up cutting it,” Oshe recalled. “So, we kind of went wire-to-wire.”

All it took was a simple adjustment.

“I think a huge benefit for me was we wound up pulling out the ear plugs, so he had no ear hood, no cotton, nothing, and we kind of went with that,” Arbia said. “I had trouble in my first start popping the ear plugs, so we wound up pulling them off and I really think that benefited me. I kind of was chirping at him the whole time behind the gate and he left out of there like a rocket ship. He was definitely a little more alert with nothing in his ears; he had his attention a little bit more on me when I was talking to him.”

And as the horse came across the line, it almost felt like a rebirth for the driver.

“It was definitely awesome,” she said. “It was like the first time I ever trained all over again. It was just like that adrenaline rush of something new. Your heartbeat’s going and your hands are shaking because you’re just so excited. It’s the best feeling.”

What made things extra special is that Melissa was driving the horse she owned, and her fiance was there to see it.

“That’s a big thing for me,” she said. “Getting to sit behind my own horse in my first win was definitely more exciting, to say the least. And Joe got to be in the winner’s circle, which made it even more exciting.”

Melissa Arbia and Joe Bongiorno are engaged to be married Dec. 15. Photo courtesy of Joe Bongiorno.

If that wasn’t enough, it got even more exciting two weeks later. On Oct. 24, Arbia won again at Yonkers, her second victory in four starts. Two days later, Joe gained his first Breeders Crown win, driving American History to victory in the Breeders Crown Open Pace at Woodbine Mohawk Park. That led to a nice celebratory dinner at the couple’s home in Jackson, N.J.

“It was definitely one of his bigger ones,” Melissa said. “And this is the start to my career, so it was kind of a big weekend for us.”

Arbia’s career is not something she ever predicted while growing up on Staten Island. She rode horses at a young age but was an equestrian rider who did show jumping.

“I’d been around horses all my life, but never racehorses,” she said.

The family moved to Millstone, N.J. when Arbia was 15 and, after graduating from Allentown High School, she went to nursing school and worked in a hospital.

“I wound up hating it,” she said, “so I decided not to finish with it.”

By then, she had been introduced to Joe by mutual friends at Freehold Raceway. Nothing but friendship came of their first meeting, but a year later when they were all hanging out, Bongiorno asked her out and unbeknownst to anyone, a burgeoning romance and working partnership was underway. After leaving nursing school, Melissa asked Joe to go out to his barn at Gaitway Farm one day and she was immediately hooked.

“We wound up jogging one together,” Arbia said. “Eventually I would go here and there and I just started working there. I kind of knew everything already, I handled them well from equestrian days. It gave me the opportunity. Their barn was growing at the time, I had said I wanted to join in with him and his sister, so I asked if she was looking for someone else.”

Jenn said yes, and Melissa has been thanking her ever since.

“She was the one who actually gave me the big opportunity,” Arbia said. “She kind of welcomed me with arms open. I didn’t have a history with racehorses, it was kind of all new, and she was really open to that. I always appreciated the opportunity I’ve been given by Jenn because she really allows me to sit behind these horses and learn each and every day.

“Obviously, every horse isn’t the same, so you get a chance to learn from different experiences just sitting behind them. Every horse has a different training schedule, you kind of get a different feel for everything, so that really helps me a lot.”

It is not Arbia’s goal to be a trainer, however. She is more interested in driving and got her qualifying license, which led to the purchase of Finnick Odair.

“We purchased him looking for me to do the amateurs, so we were just trying to find me an amateur horse,” said Arbia, who is in the process of getting her P license. “Somewhere down the road we’ll probably purchase a few more.

“I really wasn’t looking for my trainer’s license. I was more so looking just for driving experience. I love driving, I think that’s where the adrenaline rush is and where the excitement comes from. I definitely love sitting behind them and training with them, but I definitely think a driving career here and there is definitely more exciting for me.”

“Here and there” being the key to that statement. Melissa turns 25 in late December and was thinking of going back to school. But after discussing things with Joe, they agreed they want to have a child within a few years after marriage and pursuing a master’s degree while tending to an infant might be difficult.

“He wants me to have the flexibility of working with horses and being able to care for our child,” Arbia said. “Working on horses gives me that opportunity of paddocking and doing things on the side that isn’t like a mandatory schedule. So as of now, that’s kind of what we’ve talked about. I agreed upon that, because we are looking to eventually have a kid.”

And that is about as far into the future as Melissa is looking right now. She absolutely loves driving but is not set on making it a career.

“I don’t think Joe wants me driving against him — just kidding!” Arbia said with a laugh. “But I like the amateurs. I like doing it for fun.”

And she likes swapping notes with her mate.

“He’s been a big help and very supportive to the whole thing,” Arbia said. “He’s taught me pretty much everything I know. We get to talk. I work at the barn for Jenn, I get the opportunity to sit behind the horses. I take my constructive criticism and I get to learn every day with every mistake I make. That really helps me throughout the whole process.”

She returns the favor, saying “I give my input on some stuff and he takes it into consideration.”

Arbia’s next race is Thursday at Yonkers, and she is hoping for a few other opportunities as well. It’s safe to say she is enjoying life to the fullest right now and is appreciative of all involved.

“I want to give a shout out to the whole JB team for being a part of this and just helping me out,” Arbia said. “We have a lot of people in the barn that are supportive of me and they root for me. I’m very grateful that Joe is actually giving me a chance to work in the industry.

“A lot of people think it’s a struggle when you work with your significant other, but honestly it kind of has brought us closer. We kind of share an interest. That is helpful.”