by Bob Carson

Editor’s Note: The USTA website is pleased to present freelance writer Bob Carson and his popular “Outside the Box” features. This monthly series is a menu of outlandish proposals presented with a wink — but the purpose behind them is serious. The views contained in this column are that of the author alone, and do not necessarily represent the opinions or views of the United States Trotting Association.

Without promotion something terrible happens…Nothing!” — P.T. Barnum

Bob Carson

Low-level professional baseball franchises scramble to lure customers to their ballparks as if their existence depends on it — because it does. Drawing a crowd to a live event has always been a challenge; it is not getting easier in a digital world. For more than two decades, each summer, I roamed the country watching teams try to fill seats in ballparks large and small. The winners in the attendance game seemed to have a few traits in common — they were hard working, endlessly enthusiastic, and bold.

Our sport needs to fill empty stands. We cannot be complete with merely a digital presence. Watching some live harness races has to be part of the equation in any future plans. Should a racetrack hand you a budget and staff, then assign you the task of filling the grandstands of a harness racetrack with people who are not familiar with our sport, what would you do? Would you go traditional with t-shirts and posters? Would you cater to the base customer? Would you offer Fireworks Night or Speed-Dating Night? Would you give away a car or lottery tickets to customers? Let me outline a big, bold and crazy plan; the type of plan my friends in the baseball promotion world might come up with.

This pitch is wild, a new event that would be best tailored during the summer months for a racetrack without slots. It would take some advertising, a bit of retooling, and a day off for regular customers. For purists, the proposal will be sacrilege. For desperate venues, it could offer harness racing a jolt of freshness.

The idea is a stand-alone evening. Traditional handicappers should probably skip the madness to avoid stress.

Autumn Ryan graphic

The event will be called Crazy Eights Night. The evening will have two distinct components. There will be free entertainment prior to the first race, good entertainment, which will be the focal point for the entire audience, not a side show. After the show there will be eight races. Eight horses will compete in each race. The time between races will be only eight minutes. From introduction of the entertainment to the last race, the evening will be comfortably less than three hours.

The free entertainment component has several purposes. A free evening of quality entertainment is hard to resist and easy to promote. Good entertainment will draw different audiences and will provide advertising connections. Performances focus attention; this is important. We hope to encourage attendees to participate together throughout the evening. Having a crowd concentrate and participate in unison is a component missing from the traditional racetrack experience.

After the country western group wraps up their set or the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet has concluded, there will be an intermission. During the intermission, our new customers will be directed to wagering kiosks where they will have two simple choices — they will choose a number between one and eight; let us say the new visitor chooses number five; this will be their number for the entire card of races.

The only other choice after choosing a number is that they must decide on how much they wish to wager using multiples of eight. The minimum is $8 ($1 per race). The next level will be $16 ($2 per race), then $24 ($3 per race), $32 ($4 per race), or $800 ($100 per race).

That’s it.

With the exception of remembering they have chosen number five, and safely placing their lone ticket in their pocket, purse or pouch, the thinking is over. The crowd will move to the grandstand or apron and await the races where they will root for number five all night long.

Assigning numbers to the horses will be part of the fun and keep that irritating thinking out of the equation. Before each race, the horses will be led to the front of the grandstand for a small ceremony. A local celebrity, a child, or some other impartial party (local advertising opportunity) will select a number from a drum. The randomly drawn post positions and saddle pad numbers are quickly attached to the horses.

New customers will smile at the beautiful animals. They will cheer when the beautiful black trotter is given number five. Customers may chuckle when they learn that number five has an unusual name. They will know one thing — they want number five to win. There are no exactas or exotic wagering. It is very simple; if number five wins, you win.

Compare this to the experience for a new person at a traditional race program. New customers do not chuckle when attempting to read a real racing program. They do not chuckle when told, “The second-time starter, a maiden trotter out of Keplunk, had a fine qualifier and finished gamely despite being parked in the last quarter.” To non-horse fans, this sentence translates into, “Urlsl;f pslsdidk XCV tk;lrar, das PLPLY.” New customers do not chuckle while standing confused before a betting window each race.

The goal of this new evening of racing will be to encourage chuckles, cheers and smiles. Crazy Eights race fans will simply pick a number free from the restraints of traditional handicapping.

Consider some of the upsides to this lunacy:

First, and most importantly, people will no longer have to think. The popularity of the lottery and slot machines should illustrate that those who find a challenge in handicapping are as rare as a bikini on the streets of Mosul.

Payoffs will be higher. A seriously staggered starting gate will be used to guarantee that no intellectual process interferes with the, “Everybody has the same chance theory.” The payoff would need to be calculated (with necessary takeout going to purses and the racetrack) but a constant payoff on a winning ticket of around 4-1 should be in the ballpark. A couple of wins per Crazy Eights Night will bring a customer to the break even mark, which sounds simple and would encourage repeat attendance.

Live crowds offer additional revenue streams. For example, low-level baseball exists on concession stand revenue and advertising.

Almost everyone will “win” a race or two. This is huge reinforcement and nobody will blame themselves or others for holding a losing ticket. Getting paid anything as you leave the premises would be a unique experience and send folks to their cars with a smile. Churn and energy will substitute for little churn and little energy.

Slot machinists and lotteryites may soon realize that this new form of horse racing is just as insane as their traditional ways of disposing of disposable income. We will constantly emphasize that Crazy Eights is a much better bet. Plus, unlike slot machines and lottery tickets players, the Crazy Eights Nights offer true entertainment, socialization, and the option of cheering for a number when the number is a living, breathing creature with legs.

For those of you who are traditionalists, calm down, take a breath, there is hope. We would only do this sporadically. Real, old-fashioned races for real handicappers, with programs, classified fields and a semblance of sanity will rule. Behind the scenes races, classifications and purses would function as usual; the only real difference on Crazy Eights Night would be that owners and trainers will not know their post position until the last minute.

The hope is that Crazy Eights customers will be a welcome addition to our beloved sport, a novel evening, a fresh start, an experiment. What’s the downside? Nobody shows up, the Ballet dancers play to an empty house and our harness racing base refers to the promoters as morons. Hey, worse things happen.

Upsides abound. The evening could be a smash. People might show up in droves to see Clog Dancers and the Irish Colleens. There might be a flash mob. Number five might win all night long and send a few new fans into delirious joy. Some Crazy Eighters get caught up in the novel idea of thinking and eventually try the traditional races and become fans of real horse racing.

Sure Crazy Eights Night sounds loopy, but as that famous unknown author wrote…“Never be afraid to try something new. Always remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.”