Bob Carson

In the writing game, using a title with the word ‘nudity’ is called a tease. A tease is a cheap attempt to lure people to read a story. Now that you are here, let’s consider a radical concept to attract brand new fans to our old game, and yes, nudity is involved.

It is always fascinating to take a person that has never seen a harness race to the racetrack for the first time. Each time I take a potential convert to our sport, I watch the neophyte and note reactions with the intensity of a neurosurgeon removing a brain lesion. Parts of the game that we take for granted often baffle the uninformed and unexposed.

My most recent observation was revealing:

The parade of pacers ambled out of the paddock at Saratoga Raceway as my youthful female friend and I ambled down toward the apron. I waited for the obligatory, “Ooh, look at the beautiful horses.” Instead the response was, “What’s all that…stuff, you know…on their legs, Yuck.”

“That’s just equipment, to make them race better.”

She wrinkled her pretty nose, gave the horses another look, kept her eyes on them as they warmed up and said, “They look stupid. Horses should look like, you know, horses.” Before I could leap to the defense of harness racing she continued, “And the men have whips. If anybody hits a horse we are outta here.”

I was disappointed in both her grammar and her first reaction to harness racing. Perhaps we can use this vignette to tweak our beloved sport. Let me pitch a wild concept, and then propose a way to push the proposal — money.

Autumn Schmidt graphic

Free legged, clean-legged pacers and trotters are a joy to watch. My favorite horse, from an aesthetic standpoint, was a free-legged pacer named Absolute Magic. We rigged the filly with zero equipment on her legs or her head, just a simple open bridle and basic harness. This pacer was not fast, she barely took a spoonful out of our river of red ink, but watching her took your breath away. It always stuck in my mind that if all harness horses looked like Absolute Magic our game would be an easier sell.

Several veteran trainers have told me that many horses do not need hobbles. A few told me that they feel hobbles can even be dangerous. They view hobbles as more of an “insurance policy than an absolute necessity.” From a trainer’s point of view, there would be hell to pay if they sent out a horse without hobbles that broke stride. They would be second-guessed by bettors and owners alike.

Hobbles are certainly inconvenient. Despite several college degrees, I never did master the mystery of hanging hobbles on horses. Several times as a weekend amateur trainer, after my handiwork, the horse could not even move in a forward direction. Once, I accidentally lashed myself to the stall gate like Ahab to the White Whale.

So let’s take the hobbles off.

At this point you can learn forward toward your computer and listen to the obligatory wailing and gnashing of teeth that accompanies any suggestion that rocks the yacht of harness racing. Propose a concept like eliminating hobbles and six hundred and seven harness people will suggest you have lost your marbles. There will be multiple reasons why “You can’t do that!” As usual, I will not listen. Allow me to tamp down any raging brushfires by suggesting that a movement toward racing without hobbles could be optional and fueled by cash.

First, we must agree on one simple concept: visually and esthetically, a horse trotting or pacing without hobbles, presents our sport in a more favorable light to the general public. Please, please, cede that point. This should be obvious, like saying a walrus does not look good in a bonnet, or a cheetah does not look good in a babushka. Now if we agree that harness racing would have a prettier face without hobbles, let’s move in that direction. Here are two ways.

• Give any horse competing sans hobbles a perk — improved post position. Basically, split the draw: horses that take the risk of racing free-legged will draw inside, those that stick to the traditional hopples will draw the outside. This will place a premium on removing the ugly contraptions. Potentially, this would even result in breeding horses that can go without them.
• Adjust the purse (it’s not that difficult). If a horse finishes in the money without hobbles, the naked attractive equine hero will automatically receive a 10 percent bump in purse allocation.

Returning to naked horses may be a long process, but we could start immediately. At first, only a few horses will dare to go bare. However this newfound nudity gives the trainer cover, his risk in going clean-legged will show method to the madness of racing without hobbles. Trainers and owners could find that the concept of nakedness has other perks; saving time, less worry that hobbles are hung properly, less expense, less chaffing and less cleaning. They could still use the hobbles as training tools when the public is not looking.

We need a brand nude attitude in harness racing.