by Bob Carson

Editor’s Note: The USTA website is pleased to present freelance writer Bob Carson and his popular “Outside the Box” features. This monthly series is a menu of outlandish proposals presented with a wink — but the purpose behind them is serious. The views contained in this column are that of the author alone, and do not necessarily represent the opinions or views of the United States Trotting Association.

“I get a kick out of being an outsider; it allows me to be creative. — Bill Hicks

Bob Carson

The inequity of distance that horses travel in a harness race has always annoyed me. Even those of us who are geometrically challenged realize that the only horse that truly travels a mile race is the number one post horse, and then only if the horse does not leave the rail for the entire trip. This may be a small issue, and we have plenty of issues in the sport to address, but allow me to toss out a quick proposal.

An early handicapper, Arch Archimedes, famous for playing the Chariot Races at Syracuse Downs in 237 BC, did some research. Archimedes proved, “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.” Many, many years later, my uncle, Fast Eddie Phoenix, who introduced and mentored me in harness racing, took notice of Archie’s angle. As he drove me to the racetrack, Fast Eddie’s words will forever ring in my ear.

“Kiddo, this is a half-mile racetrack. These horses make a quick left turn and they keep turning left. Here is my first rule for playing the trotters and pacers — when you buy your race program, take some scissors and cut the damn thing in half. Without looking inside, throw the bottom part in the garbage or set it on fire. If I ever catch you betting the seven or eight horse, I will slap that baseball cap off your head. In fact, if you even talk to me about the outside posts, you will be taking a cab home.”

Sadly, my beloved Fast Eddie now makes his bets from the big grandstand in the clouds. In a world with online programs, Fast Eddie’s scissors are replaced with a filter and taxi cabs are finding themselves pushed to the curb. But, the outside posts remain.

Unfortunately, my previously published plans to solve the outside post problem with innovations such as staggered lanes until the half-mile, or a truly staggered starting gate, remain unheeded. In the current version of harness horse racing, drawing outside will remain part of the game. Owners and trainers must take their medicine at the post and then just stoically show up, often as fodder. Gamblers will continue to factor in the handicap of the outsiders.

Perhaps we could make racing a pinch more palatable for the horse that draws farthest from the rail.

Here are two questions. If you drew out near the fence in a seven, eight, nine or ten-horse field, would you rather start behind the one? If you find yourself the farthest outside post with a trailer, would you rather move to the second row and start next to the second tier rail horse? The gist of these questions is, would you prefer to be a trailer or blast away from the outside?

Different trainers, different drivers, different fields, and different horses will factor into answering these questions.

What if we gave the connections of the single entry that drew the farthest outside the option of dropping back and starting from the first open seat in the second tier or staying outside? Who would get hurt?

Competitive racing is always the goal for the customer. When an outside post carries a burden of unfairness, the ability for one competitor to negate this handicap would seem to be a benefit for all. The choice of the outsider, to move or not to move, would be an intriguing handicapping angle.

Getting stuck outside is never cause for hosting a pre-race party, but leaving from Outer Mongolia in an important race adds an additional level of angst to a sport filled with expensive angst. This little choice for one horse may prevent “the outsider” from curling into a ball and weeping bitter tears. Instead, they could spend a few minutes strategizing and picking their poison.

On the surface, this idea seems benign. No costs would be involved. There are no injured parties. It is a simple little option with a positive effect for gamblers and trainers. I believe that Fast Eddie Phoenix and Arch Archimedes would view this as a slight improvement. Do you?

If so, some of us could put away our scissors.